Take a Load Off... Fanny?

I randomly decided to name this post "Take a load off, Annie," after some familiar song lyrics... and when I looked up the song, I discovered that the girl's name is actually "Fanny" which, as I learned growing up, is another word for butt. Not only that, but the name of the song is called "The Weight." This is turning out to be one giant LOL moment because it's so ironic that I'm using this combination of words on my weight loss blog!

While I do need to take a load off of my fanny's weight, this is not the only strange coincidence I've dealt with lately. Monday of this week I had to go for my final round of pre-operative appointments for my gastric sleeve surgery. First, I had to stop by the surgeon's office to sign the paperwork allowing them to surgerize me. (Yeah, I totally just made up that word). Parked out front of the bariatric surgeon's office was a dadgum barbecue food truck. Granted, there are a lot of other medical offices and facilities in the area and this one has a spacious parking lot... but still... I guess they gotta know their market. I signed the papers and went off to the group psychology appointment.

In the past I would have been petrified to speak at all, let alone about anything so personal, in any kind of group class environment. This is one area where I've grown tremendously and I think that's in large part because I became a parent; having a child made me learn how to speak up. I'm also reaching the age where I'm starting to not give a damn about other people's opinions. I do still care some, but it's not crippling like it was when I was younger. So as luck would have it, I ended up having to go first. I didn't feel uncomfortable so much as I didn't want to take up too much time because there were other people in the room. I had kind of dreaded the appointment but it helped that the other surgery patients were also women. They ranged in age from 25 to 43. There was one lady I assumed was nearing 50 but turns out she's only one year older than me. I suppose I do look older than 37... as my OBGYN noted on my chart at my last appointment, adding insult to injury, lol. That woman has her surgery this week, God bless her. I hope she does well. 

After that, I had to go to the hospital's surgical testing center to give my life history, let them draw blood, and give me some special surgical body wash. They also swabbed my nose to test for MRSA. While I was in the waiting area, the TLC show "My 600 Pound Life" was playing on the TV. I guess God, my guardian angel, and the entire universe is trying to reassure me that this surgery is a good step for me! The woman on the show didn't seem willing to cooperate with her post gastric-sleeve treatment plan and she seemed very negative and hateful. I felt sad for her and annoyed at the same time. I'm not 100% on my pre-op plan as of yet, but I'm at least trying some. I know I'm not giving it my best effort. I've been overwhelmed lately and have realized that I tend to rely on food for comfort and to relieve stress more than I've been willing to admit to myself. 

When I came back to work after Christmas, I was super stressed. My boss was on maternity leave so I was doing both our jobs, in addition to planning a new festival which is basically a job in itself. Cue stress eating. 

My daughter had her tonsils removed on March 2nd and it has been a really rough ride for the entire household this last week and a half. Thankfully, just yesterday she seemed to turn a corner and has more interest in drinking and eating and was actually able to eat a few normal-ish things. But up until then I was completely worn out. I was worn out from the emotional toll of her being in pain, tired from waking up at 3AM every moring to give her medication, frustrated by her frequent lack of cooperation in drinking fluids and eating cold things. I felt guilty for not constantly being by her side to push fluids in the way she needed because I had to save my sick and vacation leave for my own surgery and recovery. I was there for her the day of the operation but as a Mom it didn't feel like enough. So, I ate. Got me some Bojangles. Cheddar-Bo biscuit with Bo-tato rounds (I love those so much, the onions really make it!!) and unsweet tea. Except they messed up and gave me sweet tea so I had to stop at Burger King to get something I could drink. (I guess in my poor choice, I still made a good choice?) So that was my treat. And I told myself that the next day I would NOT pick up breakfast. But again, I was stressed, and try as I might I could not ignore the feeling that I needed to pull in somewhere and get breakfast. And at the last minute I ended up turning away from work to go to Burger King for some egg and cheese croissants. I felt really frustrated with myself that day. It made me feel like some kind of addict. 

So, I haven't been 100% doing the pre-operative diet that I should be doing... but I'm at least aware of it and trying to be cognizant of what I'm doing well and what I'm not doing well. This is as much a mental game of self discovery as anything else. 

Some other interesting tidbits. One night, I brought takeout home for my husband and I. My daughter likes the Strawberry Skittles Freeze at Taco Bell but doesn't like any of their food. I figured my husband and I could eat some Taco Bell without offending her, but she got upset. Talking kind of hurt, so she tried some weird made up sign language (which reminds me, I had reserved books at our library on the subject thinking it would be a good learning opportunity while she's out of school for two weeks... but I havne't picked them up yet...) but we didn't understand her so we asked her to write down what she needed to say. She wrote, "I can't eat pizza. Stop eating food in front of me. This sucks." I have a feeling I will be echoing that exact sentiment in a couple short weeks.... 

*sigh* What else do I need to unload for now? 

Surprisingly, I have lost a little weight recently. I think it's mostly due to the fact we've been broke and not wanting to spend money on eating out as often. I was 304 on Monday when I weighed in at home and 305 on the scale at the surgical office. Hopefully that at least shows the doctor I'm making some sort of effort. Also, my liver enzymes have come way down from this time last year. I have been taking N-Acetyl Cysteine daily, and extra when I have a cold. Since I've been taking it I don't get sinus infections anymore after a cold. In the past, I have ALWAYS ended up with mozarella cheese gunk coming out of my nose for a fortnight due to developing a sinus infection after a cold. Now, I basically suffer the cold and am done in the7-10 days a cold is SUPPOSED to last. Incidentally, the NAC also helps with fatty liver disease, which I had developed. Since I've been taking it, my liver enzymes are basically normal now. 

I had planned to put in some health stats here... but I see this post is getting super long! So... that'll be a separate post! Thanks for letting me take a load off!