Three H: Holy, Healthy, Happy

After telling a handful of people about going for the surgery they’ve all said they’re excited for me and asked if I’m excited. It’s a trending theme. My doctors are excited. My coworkers are excited. Friends and family are excited. I, however, am not. I’m in a weird limbo somewhere between wanting to get a jump on my pre-op diet and wanting to say one last goodbye to my old favorite foods... and I don’t feel great doing either! And so I am having to admit to myself that maybe food has played a more important role in my life than it should. I joined some online bariatric support groups and the one which I expect will be the most useful is one run by a psychologist who has had the surgery and focuses on the mental aspect of maintaining a healthy diet. So far, reading her articles has been very helpful.  I also commenced having a few “food funerals.” I felt torn about it because I want to make good changes, but it’s also hard knowing certain foods will be out of my life ...

The staff at the surgeon's office told me it would be about a 4-8 week wait until they heard from the insurance company. I've waited only about 5 and a half weeks. That's not bad.  When I saw that ECU was calling I realized it must be about whether or not I was approved for gastric sleeve and I felt a little nervous; part afraid I'd be denied, and part afraid that surgery is now out of the abstract and into the concrete. I'm approved for surgery! So now I'm excited and afraid at the same time. I was told I must pay a $600 fee, I guess to show that I truly want it done and I'm not going to back out, and then they would schedule the surgery. Typically, surgery is scheduled for about a month after the payment is made, although it can sometimes be as soon as two weeks. This is where things get trickier. On the same day I had my "decision visit" with the surgeon, my boss gave birth to her first baby! I had been cruising along, trying to gradually m...

Bras:  I'm really not sure. A couple months ago I ordered some new 50D bras and they fit. I also accidentally ordered a 50DD bra and, to my surprise, it also fit. So... my cups runneth over.  Shirts:  3XL from clothing stores like Belk or regular t-shirts.  2XL or 26/28 from online retailers Woman Within, Jessica London, and Roaman's Because the type of moisture-wicking fabric used in our work polos doesn't stretch, I had to order men's 4XL. Depressing and embarassing.  Pants:  Size 26 from Lane Bryant Size 26 or 26/28 from Woman Within, etc.  Socks:  I used to wear ladies' 9-11. They don't stretch enough now so I gave up and bought men's ankle athletic socks. They feel great.  Shoes:  New Balance 9.5 or 10 Yellow Box Wedge Flip Flops, size 11 Dresses:  I don't own any that fit right now and I don't intend to buy any more for the time being. 

Sometimes you just need a sausage biscuit for breakfast. This was one of those mornings. I'm not sure what it is about them, but I actually feel good when I eat one. It has to be one of the least healthy things I could possibly eat; flour dough biscuit and fatty sausage. But maybe its a matter of the ratio of protein to carbs. All I know is they taste good and my body asked for one this morning. It also gave me a good excuse to get an unsweet tea. I've basically been stopping by a drive-thru each morning and picking up one of the large drinks filled with unsweet. I sip on it throughout the day at work and it keeps me hydrated. I usually end up getting another one at lunchtime. Today I'm going to try going without any sweetener in my unsweet at all. How big are these cups, anyway; 32 ounces- is that right? I have Google right here at my fingertips and yet, I ask you. Anyway, I find it easier to stay hydrated by sipping on this drink with a straw. It's not eco-friendly, a...

Well, it’s officially the New Year! Welcome to 2020! I’ve already been making some small changes the last couple of months. My breakfasts are looking ok as I usually have an Atkins shake; that’s one thing that has stuck with me from doing the low carb-high protein diet. Well, except today I had some chicken mini’s from Chik-fil-a. I have those on occasion; maybe once a week. I’m still not doing great with lunches and dinners, but I am trying to make slightly better choices. Some days I’ll go to Harris Teeter and do their salad bar for lunch. I stick mostly to the greens and veggies but also add sunflower seeds and either vinegar or balsamic dressing. I usually do have a tablespoon or two of pasta salad or seafood salad, depending on what’s available. I like when they have the little seasoned balls of mozzarella. I like getting the super basic side salad at McAllister’s and I top it with Thousand Island dressing. Those are examples of good days; bad days usually happen at Taco...

Measured on 12/23/2019 Weight: 310 lb, 3.2 oz BMI: 48.58 Blood Pressure: 132/85 Temperature: 98.9 Pulse: 92  Got a haircut between some of my pre-op appointments on December 11th.  I have decided to go with the sleeve gastrectomy. Here below is an actual walkthrough of the surgery. It may not be suitable for the squeamish. The cutting/stapling gadget is fascinating. The best part is when you realize... "Wait, how are they gonna get the removed portion of the stomach out?" And it's got to bloop out through that little laproscopic button hole.

Yeah, so I obviously fell off the wagon again. But in all fairness, a lot has happened. In a nutshell: August 2016:  Lightning strike ignited the lint in our dryer exhaust, filling our house with smoke. Thankfully we were on our way home when it happened, maybe a couple miles away,  and saw the bolt that did it. We even joked, "Well THAT definitely hit something." Yeah, it was the streetlight in front of our house... which is next to the cable box... which the cable led directly to the back of the house underneath the washroom. Yeah, fun story. October 2016:  I decided I was ready to get back to working on my weight loss when I discovered I was unexpectedly pregnant! I was thrilled! And green olives were a MUST on my pizza. But yet in the back of my mind I had an ominous feeling that something was different than last time... November 2016:  I suffered a miscarriage. I think I somehow knew things weren't right, but I was still devastated. I typically h...

Yeah, you can tell by my face that I don't take a whole lot of bathroom mirror selfies... I'm doing well to take the damn photo, forget posing and pouting and all that nonsense.  On the plus side, my bathroom looks way better than it did in previous progress photos; I didn't have crop out as much junk or strategically stand to avoid airing my dirty laundry- which is a good thing because my phone was dead and I had to plug it in. So hey, maybe I have made progress in other ways!  Anyway, here I am wearing a way-too-small fitted ladies' XL t-shirt with Rick from the Shirt Tales. Isn't he so cute? That spunky little smile of his sure is encouraging! I'll try to remember to smile the next time I take a photo! 

Before I share my back-logged of weight logs, let me briefly share the carrot I'm using as a motivator!  When I was a child in the 80's I loved the tv show Shirt Tales. My husband managed to find some and gave the episodes to me as a gift a while back, and now our daughter loves watching it, too! She especially loves Pammy and Kip, but she thinks all the Shirt Tales are awesome. On a random streak of luck, I discovered that Hallmark was releasing limited edition Shirt Tale Itty Bittys available online only. They had Rick, Tyg, Bogey, and Pammy. I'm not sure why they didn't include Digger as he was part of the original crew (I can see not including Kip as she came later) but oh well.. .I had to have them! So as soon as  they came available a week or two ago, I was up bright and early ordering them online! I figured they'll make a great stocking-stuffer for our sweetie at Christmas and I can enjoy them along with her. Well, they also had a Shirt Tales T-shirt w...

For the past several months, I've slipped into, wallowed around in, and am now trying to climb myself out of a rut. The last post back in April was all about my desire to redouble my efforts. I even bought a cute new journal to track my weight and food intake. I tracked everything I ate. For a day. After that, it became clear that I wasn't going to be able to maintain that. I journaled just a little, but basically ended up using the book to track my weight. And then even tracking my weight began to falter. But I knew from past experience that not weighing at all equals huge weight gains. The main thing I did to take care of myself over the last few months was to weigh myself daily; I didn't do so great at it, but I kept going and starting again after faltering. Leafing back through those old pages, it became clear to me that I was too busy or too frazzled or too stressed to really care for myself. Even my weight log began to look a jumbled mess; dates scribbled out, weigh...